


The Terrible One-Man Invasion Of A Creature Not Of This Earth!

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-21
Updated: 2010-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't write good summaries so I'll just write that it involves the glamour of Hollywood!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Terrible One-Man Invasion Of A Creature Not Of This Earth!

Stately, handsome Nicolas Kim Coppola, known to most as Cage, left the limousine, much to the crowds' excitement. He was facing the entrance to Los Angeles Music Center's Dorothy Chandler Pavillion; to the left, to the right, swarmed two mobs of fans--mostly girls, some in downright ecstasy, held off by cordons of both velvet and police. Basking in his fame, Nicholas proceeded down the passage with the nonchalant, yet noble strut, flanked by momentary flickers of camera flashes and the buzzing chatter of TV reporters. This was the night of the Oscar gala, and one award lay in wait for him.

Then, suddenly, as he came about quarter of the way, a dazzling flash of green light blinded and dazed him and onlookers alike; it was like a dwarf star, erupting spontaneously from a spot a meter in front of him. Hideous high-pitched whining tormented ears all around. And then, in the middle of the radiant show, a humanoid figure faded in, and hopped out of the green nova, which just then vanished as suddenly as it appeared.

It was a demon.

It was a mockery of a human girl, but there was little doubt of its infernal origins, and more than one educated witness recalled the visions of Bosch and the penmanship of Dante. No doubt a succubus, it had the traditional impish horns, threatening predator teeth, skin ashen-grey (ash brought to mind fire and flame), eyes a sickly yellow. The right eyeball, rather than a proper pupil, contained a melted mess of black.

The devil's sudden arrival froze the crowds in shock. Only the reporters, out of instinct mostly, desperately clicked new snapshots; TV cameras eagerly captured the intimidating image. If there was any doubt who (if anyone) was the demon's quarry, it dissipated quickly; as (while the green light's afterimages were still wandering lazily in the onlookers' sights) it--she looked towards the actor, her eyes widening like those of a baby who's seen a new toy, and ran towards him while shrieking "NICK CAAAAGE!!!"

Nick Caaaage couldn't help but think back to the fire-and-brimstone sermons attended in youth. Could it be that (as the preacher warned) he let the lure of Hollywood cloud his road to God, and so badly, that Beelzebub has set aside a devil for him? Meanwhile, the succubus has already approached, smiling to display the sharp hell of her fangs. Cage, seeing no hope of deliverance from his fate, waited fearfully for the demon to smite him. But the demon wasn't doing any smiting.

As the policemen around were slowly shaking free of the confusion, she pulled out a pen, a sheet of paper, then shoved both implements into Cage's hands while erupting with a torrent of twitter: "Oh my gog it's really you!!!!!! I'm your biggest fan and I've seen all your movies, all of them, and I've got all your movie posters and I am basically the most awesome fan of you in the entire world!!!! You're so cool and awesome and pretty and..."

The fan crowds ceased staring in silence and proceeded to scream in fright. One cop, and another, drew guns at her and ordered her to HALT! and DON'T MOVE!. Several others were frantically radioing their superiors.

The demon girl, somewhat deterred by this turn of events yet still agog, implored: "Oh please oh please I want your autograph, just write it down here, 'From Nicolas'... no, 'Nick', 'From Nick Cage to Vriska', that's all I want and I'll go away then, just write it down write write!! Hurry!!"

Still in stupor, Cage scrawled "from nick cage to rixa', only barely realizing what he was doing. As soon as he had laid down the last 'a', the demon snatched the paper out of his hand ("DON'T MOVE!", one of the policemen re-iterated) and held its close to her chest, eyes dreamy.

The fangirls continued to scream. Some in terror. Most - out of envy.

The cop on the right began, "You will go with us peacefully or..."

She looked skyward, began waving her hands and yelling to some invisible listener: "Okay guys! I got it, got it!! Sollux, take me away from here, come on, send me back, quickly, they want to get me!!"

Again the otherworldly whining, accompanying another overwhelming green flash; this repetition of the prior display forced the officers to leap back and shield their eyes, and once it dissipated, nobody was there.

The crowds kept screaming, mostly for the sake of screaming. TV reporters gave in to beautiful thoughts of Nielsen ratings and pay rises.

Nicolas Kim Coppola, for his part, was frantically trying to recall if he's ever heard about demons who could steal your soul by getting an autograph.


End file.
